Commitment issues

I would describe myself as someone who has commitment issues. When it comes to reading a book, I like to have two on the go simultaneously, their plots and characters sometimes mingling in my head as I alternate between them both. I often start filling out questionnaires and don’t finish them. At primary school, I would hide the half-finished workbook in order to be awarded a shiny new one from the teacher. Yet my issues with committing to something fully stop there.

I’m fully aware that relationships are hard work, but why do so many people sit back and expect happiness on a plate? I’ve lost track of the amount of men who expect their girlfriends to act as wives without even making the commitment of living together. It’s all very well to say that we as women allow it to happen – of course we do – but we’re usually hoping for a happy outcome. The sad truth is that many people today just don’t know how to commit.

There are so many people, places, things, gadgets, experiences, that we’re always wondering, “what if something better is right around the corner?” Sometimes it is, sometimes not. But either way if you love something you need to commit fully to it. I’m reminded of the 90’s film ‘The Bachelor’ and the famous scene where Chris O’ Donnell proposes to Renee Zellweger with the phrase, “it’s time to shit or get off the pot.” I think we could all use a little of that in our lives. I’m not suggesting you steal Chris’s proposal technique….

So many people are guilty of drifting along in mediocre relationships, with one eye open to the perfect person that may or may not come their way. Me, I’ve always been an all or nothing person, taking the same approach to relationships as I do to my writing. When I stop loving something, I get out, fast.

I don’t understand this inability to commit, to make a statement and stand up for things you love. It isn’t age or inexperience; it isn’t even a sign of the times, it’s just the fear that something better could come along. In order to be happy, surely it’s more important to love what you have right now (and if you don’t, find something else to love) than to waste time waiting for something that may never happen.

So yes, relationships are hard work. So is writing, but what you get out of it after all the effort is a sense of achievement, a buzz and a warm glow inside that only comes from one thing; love. So either shit or get off the pot, seize your moments and don’t be one of those people who looks back and wishes they’d acted. You’re more likely to regret the things you didn’t do than the things you did…..



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